fightingIt seems like my ranting about the future of SD may be pointless now, considering that this U.S. Constitutional Amendment banning gay marriages will now move on to the full Senate. Its a dark day for fostering unity within diversity.
I know I've been a bit absent lately, but with the semester finally over, and finding out later today whether I finally have a job, I hope to change that, and this will be a perfect jump-start topic.
~Ezree
~Ezree
The American Heritage Dictionary defines it as: noun 1. An intense affectionate concern for another person 2. An intense sexual desire for another person 3. A beloved person; often used as a term of endearment 4. A strong fondness or enthusiasm for something
And Merriam-Webster says: noun 1. a) strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties b) attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers c) affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests 2. a)warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion b) an assurance of love 3. a) the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration b) a term of endearment
Ooooooooooook. Well, even if just those definitions are all it really takes to make sense of this supposedly overwhelming feeling, (and I sense they're a little piece-meal and lacking) then I'm still left with the question of how do you know when you feel it?
There are all kinds of metaphors and poetry that try to capture the essence of it, but from what I can tell, you are the only person that can say whether and how you feel, and that includes love. You have to go with your gut - there are no guarantees for whether the other person will reciprocate, and you have to make sure that you are mentally ready for and capable of commitment, but you have to decide whether you feel that way, and then follow through by giving voice to your thoughts and feelings, in complete honesty.
No wonder the mere thought of the word 'love' connected to Al scares me to death - I can't help but second-guess myself when it comes to major decisions. Maybe time will strengthen my resolve, even as distance threatens to corrode it.
~Ezree
Its about time someone back home with some backbone and power followed up their speaking against the Ban with a plan for action. I applaud Ms. Fire Thunder's efforts, and hope that even if the law if repealed somehow, she follows through and brings this service to the Res, where it is unfortunately needed just as often as elsewhere.
For those of you who may not be broke college students, or even if you are and feel that strongly about it, and are interested in contributing to the effort, follow the instructions here: http://kathrynt.livejournal.com/366823.html
Maybe there's hope for home after all...
~Ezree
Some things life prepares you for, others not, and some you think won't be a big deal until the actual experience sweeps you off your feet.
Take sharing a bed, for example. I've been on too many trips and conferences throughout my lifetime as a band-geek/choir-priss, a compulsive college road-tripper, and a broke grad student to think anything of having to share a bed with someone. But having a choice? Totally different ball game. Even with Jay, it was always neutral ground- some hotel half-way between our long-distance locations. But my life has been turned on its head since meeting Al, and part of that has been getting used to, and even looking forward to, having someone to share my bed with, or sharing his bed depending on where we are. Its great, but its also kinda weird.
And now, after they will have finished watching "Desperate Housewives," I'm going to attempt to tell my parents. I'm really not looking forward to it, but its time, like it or not.
~Ezree
The problem with time is that sometimes it drags on forever, while at other times you never have enough. In essence, the theory of relativity, a sentiment that I've always thought is best expressed by LL Cool J's character Preacher in "Deep Blue Sea" (you'll either know what I mean, or not).
Lately I've had an internal conflict going between the two extremes, as I'm impatiently waiting for the schools that I've interviewed with to decide whether they're going to offer me on-campus interviews, but at the same time, I feel like there's not enough time to get everything done before I graduate in May. Compounding the issue of the latter, I keep wishing that I had more time before I graduate and probably move, because, wonder of all wonders - I've met somebody.
At first I felt conflicted, you know: this is the wrong time and the wrong place, I can't get distracted while I'm trying to job search, this is fate playing a cruel joke on me... but Al has helped smooth over all of the doubts. I'm happier than I've been in a long, looooooooooong time. I can see just how far I've come, mentally and emotionally, since Jay, and what my issues were with untangling myself from him. As a matter of fact, if I hadn't talked to Jay about my worries and given him a chance to push me to take the risk and meet Al in the first place, I'd have missed out on a lot.
I can't say that I'm not nervous, and I don't know what May will bring, but I'm trying hard to just be content and enjoy the time I have with Al till then. Hard, but I'm trying.
~Ezree
Yup, its official - I come from the most controversially backwards state in the union. Check it out- South Dakota bans almost all abortions: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11699703/
I will never be able to live it down if my home state is the catalyst for the downfall of Roe v. Wade. Its depressing.
~Ezree
So you know that cliche about how as soon as you stop looking, the perfect person falls into your lap? Its true. Lately I've been putting all of my time and energy toward preparing for the conference this weekend at which I'm interviewing with 10 schools at (I'm alternating between nervous and excited). So what starts to happen? Eligible bachelors start coming up on my radar, seemingly appearing out of the woodwork!
I openly admit that I'm not on expert on males of the species- too often I've been relegated to the Lil' Sister role with my guy friends, limiting the possibilities for insights, and having had only one serious boyfriend in the past narrows my ability to see the whole forest instead of individual trees. But are they programmed to come onto a girl when she's wrapped up in other things? Don't they understand that those of us who are career-minded have priorities, but its hard to stick to those priorities when a cute guy wants to steal your time to get to know you... just to have you move in 2 months!?! Its not fair!!!
~Ezree
So I was intrigued by tonight's episode of "Battlestar Galactica" (Episode 217 'The Captain's Hand'). You figure that it had to have been filmed last summer or at least in the fall, but it seems particularly timely in light of current events surrounding the Supreme Court appointment:
Female President Laura Roslin forced herself to outlaw abortion (a practise that was legal since it had been on Earth, but which was considered an unacceptable sin by the Gemini - yeah, some religious commentary there) after being faced by a report by her (questionably sane) scientist Vice President Dr. Gaius Baltar, which claimed that the human race was doomed to extinction within 15 years if they didn't start reproducing - a report that may or may not have been true, since Baltar used the furor made by Roslin's Executive Decision to announce his intention to run against her in the upcoming Presidential election.
There are so many layers to this that you can poke at, its almost fascinating how well-devised this plot line was. Here we are in 2006, facing a burgeoning overpopulation problem, and the emminent overturning of Roe v. Wade, which will only compound the situation, and to contrast that against the show's backdrop of genocide of all but 49,894 human survivors (a small city, in most states) is only a start.
Being a vocal liberal and feminist, I'm most definitely pro-choice, but what would you do if this were an actual situation? Would it be just to allow abortions under the threat of the end of the human species? A conundrum.
~Ezree
Too often I feel like that - that I'm a walking contradiction.
Take the weather - I hate the extreme cold and can't stand the extreme heat, but I need four seasons. And then there's storms - I've always been fascinated by them and have actually taken a storm-chaser class, but having another Tornado Watch tonight, in the middle of February, just isn't right - I'm used to back home where there's a predictable season that runs end of March to the beginning of September.
And those are just the tips of the iceberg. Is this an isolated phenomena, or does everyone experience this?
~Ezree
